My brother is getting married next year. Yay! Huzzah! Ring the bell! Glad tidings, yada, yada, yada, you know the rest! I really am excited though, because I love weddings. My Pinterest board? Enough to send a commitment-phobe into a panic induced coma, if that's possible. Anyway.
My older brother is getting married, and while I'm super happy and very excited for the big event, there's just one small problem.
He wants his firstborn son to wear name brand basketball shoes. Ugh.
You may know the type of shoe I mean: the Michael Jordans, the LeBron James', the Kobes, and those of that ilk. I personally don't much care for them, because-- dare I say it-- they're usually kind of ugly. But also because they're unnecessarily expensive! And they're [often times] ugly! And did I mention they're ugly? When it comes to name brand basketball shoes, I have a big, fat, question mark over them, asking why are these even a thing? And here now, my brother is willing, eager even, to put both him and his son in formalwear paired with name brand basketball shoes for the wedding [shudder].
I mean, I get it on a bunch of different levels. Growing up, my family had never been rich or even middle class. Other kids who were better off would often make fun of us because we couldn't afford name brand unless it came from the thrift store. So now, fast forward ten to fifteen years, when my brother is finally able to buy whatever kind of shoe wants! This now includes hideous, ultra expensive "Jordans". And since his son, who is all of two months, is "Junior", you'd better believe the little guy will be sporting the newest Jordan's as well. So I get it; you're compensating for a less than glamorous childhood.
But seriously? Putting a kid who still sleeps for more than half his day, in expensive soft-soled name brands not only seems financially foolish, but fashion foolish too. The kid's only gonna be able to fit the things for the next three weeks, if that, and personally I'm not a fan of the suit and sneaker combo! It's-- wait for it-- ugly! Why can't pro- suit/sneaker people realize that, unless you're en route somewhere else, ruining the lines and look of a business suit with your basketball shoes is just wrong, never mind wedding day formalwear! Come on! Are you serious?! Now those quirky souls who pair up more casual wedding attire with classic converse? More power to you. But don't torture my eyeballs by wearing a bleeding full-out tux with clunky b-ball shoes! Gross! And unfortunately, it will only propagate the notion that young, black men, have nothing better to do with the money they do have, except to buy these ugly b-ball shoes.
If my older brother really feels strongly about wearing these b-ball shoes with his tux, I'll grin and bear it because, hey, they're your hideous wedding photos, not mine. But please, for the love of all that is good and just in the world, don't put my poor baby nephew in a fashion faux pas before he's old enough to resemble something other than a potato! That's just... that's just mean.
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